Withstanding the Test of Time: Northwest DuPage County Edition

Spending 40, 50, 60 years in a marriage isn’t impossible. But in this day and age, a couple is lucky to remain together long enough to make it past their seven-year itch. Nurturing a healthy relationship takes effort from both sides. We talked to some professionals and the real pros — a longtime married couple — to get their suggestions on how to maintain a positive relationship.

Eugene & Ellen Rezabeck share a kiss in their Belmont Village residence in Carol Stream Thursday Jan. 28. The couple has been married for 59 years. STAFF PHOTO BY MARK BUSCH

CAROL STREAM COUPLE Gene, 83, and Ellen Rezabeck, 82   NUMBER OF YEARS MARRIED: 59

As a student of the Illinois Institute of Technology, Gene attended a dance for nurses in training by suggestion of a fraternity brother. Ellen, who was training to be a nurse at the time, caught the eye of Gene at the dance. “I liked her background. In case I ever got sick, she was a nurse,” Gene says with a laugh. The couple married on June 10, 1950.

How have you been able to maintain a healthy relationship through the years? “It just happens,” Gene says. “We didn’t do anything specific.” Though the couple couldn’t give a particular reason for staying together all these years, they still had words of advice to young couples. “Be honest with one another, and if you have family, remain close to them as you age. Family is very important,” Gene says.

Psychotherapist/Hypnotherapist
Nancy S.B. Ging
Clarus Center, 28379 Davis Parkway, Unit 801, Warrenville
(630) 393-9800

“Really the key is for each person to be grounded in their mind. If they are grounded in their mind, a person feels more psychologically safe... A person will feel safer and trust themselves more ... and honest communication flows from that.”

Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Glory Jordan
Private Practice, 1 Tiffany Point, Suite 116, Bloomingdale
(630) 924-0600

“Research by John Gottman shows that there are about 10 tools people use in healthy relationships, and I would say the top three is having soft start-ups to conflicts ... like offering to sit down and talk. It also shows that couples that avoid criticism, stonewalling and defensiveness will likely succeed.”

Restoring Pastor
Christina Walker
Glen Ellyn Bible Church, 501 Hillside Ave., Glen Ellyn
(630) 469-2964

“Communication. So many times you assume that the other person knows what you’re thinking and sees the same picture as you ... and this creates confusion and tension. Communicate what you are thinking and make sure you’re talking in a clear language to each other.”

Bartender
Diane Harder
Papa Pacino’s, 113 W. Railroad Ave., Bartlett
(630) 736-8522

“I would say that you should allow each other to be their self and respect each other’s decisions and ideas.”

A couple's weekend
Become closer to your spouse through a United Marriage Encounter Weekend. The weekends are designed to provide couples with practical methods for improving communication to ultimately grow closer to each other and strengthen the bond between husband and wife. Two weekends are scheduled for April and September in Carol Stream. To find out how to register, visit www.unitedmarriage.org.